Feb 8, 2009

Few things in life are certain. I use the word certain because this means to have no doubts about something, to have a guarantee something will happen, or, ability to be relied upon. I'm sure I could ramble on about all the uncertainties of life, but instead I will ramble on about the certainties. One certainty is that Valentine's day will occur at the same time every year, and being married, it reminds me to reflect upon marriage, and my husband.

My relationship with my husband is something that will last forever. There will never be a day in the eternities or on this earth that we will not be one. There is a bond, stronger than any worldly ceremony that binds us to each other. It was designed by a loving God to allow his children the blessing and honor of remaining in family units after death. Have you ever wondered, "Why we are put on this earth in families only to be dissolved after death?" Would we care about our spouses, our children, our ancestors if ultimately we were going to remain an individual for eternity? Why marriage and family units then? How grateful I am that I know there is a sealing power that binds on earth and in heaven my family, especially that bond between a husband and wife.

My friendship with my husband will last forever. With Valentine's day approaching (I know it's over commercialized and often cheapened by society) I thought about what having a husband means...especially, having the husband that I have. It's a friendship that few experience. It's a joy that few taste of. With a world gone opposite of marriage and family, I am certain that I will never wish for or look back on the days without my husband. He's the best friend that I've ever had. He knows his priorities. He knows what comes first after a long day of school and work. He knows that even though he may have had a hard day, I'm the one usually needing the laugh and the extra hug at night. When I gain weight, he never tells me to work out, or questions what I eat. When I cry about some physical imperfection I think I might have at the moment, he offers chocolate or a back rub. He celebrates when something good happens to me or for me. He loves our son, and our son on-the-way more than anything, and I know this because I see it in his panic when there is a scraped knee or near death stunt by our toddler. Never does he look at me with that "Are you going to rush over and help him up". He does it without question. He has never referred to me as "hey woman" or acted as though I were his maid. I feel like the bride and queen of the household. I know that everything he does, from his near penniless job, although still providing, to slaving away at tests and school work, is all for me. I know that his sense of humor was designed especially for me, to get me laughing, sometimes uncontrollably in inappropriate circumstances, every day. His hugs were designed for me. His lips, his back rubs, his foot rubs, his cuddliness, and his raspy and what I like to call bedroom voice, designed all for me.

When he's excited about a new rock song, and I just gotta hear it, he'll set aside time to let me hear it so I can appreciate it as much as him, creating another something we can share. New movies, new restaurants, new tv shows, new video games, new bands, new youtube videos...whatever it is, he'll share it with me. Not his guy friends, but me. I wonder if I'm worthy of all the sharing because he knows I don't love all the same things as him, yet he'll try and share with me anyway. The first time we officially met we talked about music, and he discovered that I knew a band that he thought only a handful of people knew about and vice-versa. From there on out we thought each other was pretty cool. Good thing he had the determination to track me down a year later and officially ask me on a date. The rest is history.

I know that he hears me. I'm certain that when I need to talk, actual girl talk (that whole venting and fretting that girlfriends do) he'll listen for hours! It probably annoys him, but he listens, and he even gives me input. He hates when I cry. He feels helpless when I do, but he'll try and help anyway. He takes my advice, even when it's harsh, and loves me anyway. He lets me pick apart his sense of style, weight, hobbies, mannerisms, etc, and still kisses me goodnight, holds my hand, opens doors for me, and makes attempts to change for the better because I've asked. He makes my senses sing, even when I cannot talk.

I know that he loves me. It's in every kiss. I'm certain he knows me better than anyone. The second night we hung out, after a date, we talked until four in the morning. He summed up what he thought about who I was and where I came from, and he hit the bull's eye. Inside I was thinking, "How in the world does someone know me so well after only a couple dates and a few hours of talking?" I still don't know the answer to that, but I'm certain it's because I needed him, and he needed me to know that he was the one for me. Could this be love? I know it's cliche sounding, but love isn't complicated. It's direct and to the point, and it happens in a matter of moments and continues forever. I'm certain of that!

So, to my husband I want to say that I am certain that I love you! I am certain that you are the best person to ever grace my life. I hope you know that you are my everything, even though I make things tough for you, you will know that I need you because without you I have nothing. When all we have is each other, that will be enough. I don't know if you remember life without me, but I don't remember it without you. When I reach that far back I still see you there, somewhere, in my life, in my memories. We have been through SO much since last Valentine's day...can you believe it? We've made it through worse, and better for that matter, but look at us...we're fine! We are together. We love each other, we have each other, and have certainties that will last forever! You make my soul fly, even when I cannot think to walk. I'm amazed that you are mine, and that you are my Valentine!

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